Quote:
Originally Posted by 12AM
So it’s just nausea but you’re mentally fine? That’s good then. I’m glad you’re doing better. I don’t know what happened to me nor how I did it but I have motivations most of the time now (like about 4-5 days a week), after years of feeling demotivated and numb.
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Yeah some days are better than others for motivation. I have maybe 1 day a week if I'm lucky. It'll get better eventually.
I feel like I'm in a state right now where I'm just waiting to move to the island with my family - I'll have a place to be outside of my room to be creative and focus etc.. People will motivate me.
Other people are my biggest motivators. It's like.. (Deep thought here): When someone is next to you compared to not (Especially if they're talking to you), you are much more alert.. Like thinking that a hallucination is real.. You're 100% focused and want to connect. Like how people in relationships connect through hard drug brain chemistry.
Cuz what the hell are we doing here? We wouldn't be typing on roll call if everyone was just AI's and weren't real.
I find that I can start and finish watching movies easer when my dad is here because we would watch a movie almost every night. Connection is important.
I've been in isolation for so long that ME is all I know - On chats helping suicidal people and listening to music, sleeping, work, school (Although too tired to wake up).. That basically all I did for years.