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12AM · Nov 03, 2020, 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

Yeah some days are better than others for motivation. I have maybe 1 day a week if I'm lucky. It'll get better eventually.

I feel like I'm in a state right now where I'm just waiting to move to the island with my family - I'll have a place to be outside of my room to be creative and focus etc.. People will motivate me.

Other people are my biggest motivators. It's like.. (Deep thought here): When someone is next to you compared to not (Especially if they're talking to you), you are much more alert.. Like thinking that a hallucination is real.. You're 100% focused and want to connect. Like how people in relationships connect through hard drug brain chemistry.

Cuz what the hell are we doing here? We wouldn't be typing on roll call if everyone was just AI's and weren't real.

I find that I can start and finish watching movies easer when my dad is here because we would watch a movie almost every night. Connection is important.

I've been in isolation for so long that ME is all I know - On chats helping suicidal people and listening to music, sleeping, work, school (Although too tired to wake up).. That basically all I did for years.

Yeah I understand. Must be hard for you moving to your current house. I remember you posted your previous bedroom here on Roll Call. Looked much bigger than now. It really helps to have our own comfortable and peaceful place. Like we want to have people around when we want to interact but at the same time we need our safe place when we feel like being left alone. I hope you’ll move from there eventually.

And yeah connection is important. (Just a side story, I have a friend on discord who is severely depressed. He can’t make a connection with people due to his autism. I feel bad for him so I became his friend. But later on I found out that he has this “I’m always right” mindset and he would be passive aggressive towards me when I disagree with him about something, not to mention that he has this habit of making me feel stupid. I told him he needs a therapy because he needs help that I cannot provide. But he refused to go, making 101 excuses about it. He’s an ISFP. So I closed my DM from him as he triggers my trauma. But we still talk occasionally in the server with other friends). So yeah connection is important to our mental health. Isolation is against human nature.