That's right I have been in patient more times than I remember. And I'm facing the same junk, yet again. I'm tired of these thoughts ruining my life. I feel so lost!! My current job is creating more emotional turmoil, and I'm burning out. Then I had another stress of two doubtful professionals who don't think I can finish or thrive if I graduated.

I kinda want to be in patient. Why? Just to escape!!! But I don't want meds. I want to focus on behavior change. But is that even enough?! I almost want to drive to the place that kept me for two weeks and drugged me where I don't remember the first week.

I looked at all my workbooks that have gone unopened for awhile, and yet I want to get another one. Hoping that I'll change enough to open the book. I feel like I am losing time, and right now my energy level is lower, stress is high, and my thoughts can't be trusted.

I'm tempted to leave home for awhile to get out. But that also tells me I'm unhappy in my home. Yet I do nothing!!!!! I'm overwhelmed and wanting an escape. But what if I box up a few things in my room, and clean up. Putting what I am not using in the garage. Would that help?? I really want to sleep. My sleep was severely impacted, and I walk up and used the crisis text line, but tho other person on the line was unhelpful, and I ended the chat.

What do I need? Is a new career what I need the most? Should I even be in grad school? What's in my future? Is there even a future, or should I just say get me on disability, I'm done trying.

Another part of me wants to move. I want to do things but I feel like I can't, because it's how I pay rent with my time. It's so dumb!!!