Im in a similiar situation and have had the same issues and feel the same way about the hospitals. I only feel like that for a few days then i seem to balance out for a while. Ive been working on writing a strong testimonial to try and get the way some of the hospitals are ran because they can most definitly do a better job. I had suicidial ideation and not once in all the times i was hospitalized did they write me a safety plan. Slowly and surely im getting over it but they can most definitly do a better job. People with disabilities need to be prepared for crisises.