It does in a way. My mother never abandoned me but my father and I have a weird relationship, where I think I constantly have to impress him. I barely see or hear from him and I think he doesn't love me. He calls my suicide attempts attention getters. I don't know about splitting though. I'd have to think about it. I think that perhaps around people I'm not very genuine. What I mean is that were I alone most of the day, I would be different, but I'm just around people and they have expectations. Not to say that I would be completely different, but i would be different. I don't want to go back to the hospital. I've noticed in my friendships though that I can value someone and then they do something wrong and I hate them and am not as trusting of them if I get over my initial hate, which is hard to do but can be done as long as they don't %#@&#! me off again and I don't have any friends at the time. My family is different though; since I love them all very much, I can be angry at them and not value them for a while but usually I'm OK. It's like yesterday I felt like saying the meanest things to my mom as she was about to cry. She was saying "How do you think I've come so far in life?" and I felt like saying "You call this far? Working at a %#@&#! job for minimum wage is far?" Then I got a sudden burst of anger and wanted to destroy something. Then I was OK and laughing at certain points. It seems to escape my life I fantasize. I'm not quite sure what my disassociation has to do with it, but my doctor thinks it's avoidance. I have no idea what this all means though...