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I have friends, also my husband, who use me as their therapist. They want to dump their problems on me. None of these people ever ask how I'm doing. I don't disclose or ask for anyone to listen to me because I don't want to. I have my therapist, my pdoc, and this forum for that.
When I was younger I allowed myself to be an unconditionally reliable friend. I was "there" for everyone in my life, there to listen, caretake, I was "mommy" for anyone who needed one.
Over the past 2 years I have learned that my caretaking behavior is unhealthy for me. I no longer want to be in one-sided relationship, me always being the giver. I don't want to disengage when these people have already started dumping on me; I want to prevent it.
The friends I have in mind, including my husband, seriously need professional mental health care, but won't get it. They're lazy to "do the work." I struggle to keep my sanity and I work hard at doing so.
Anyone? Suggestions for tools to use to send out the message that I am not available as a free therapist or an unconditionally loving mommy?
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