This is seriously eye opening and depressing. I have been involved with SIX narcissists in my life. Ok, yeah, I have a pattern. That's abundantly clear. And eight abusers, not seven, but eight.

I am really looking forward to working with my new therapist, which starts tomorrow. I really hope he is effective and can help me.

I have a problem - well, I have several problems, but the universe keeps sending me the same lesson over and over again, because I fail to learn the lesson each time. I do believe that this is how the universe works.

Six narcissists. You would think I'd be an expert at picking them out by now. NOOOOOOOOOOO. I'm a stupid freaking idiot is what I am. SO stupid.

I told this new therapist a tidbit of my story before we scheduled the 1st appointment. His comment was that I am passive. At first I took offense, but then when I thought about it more, it made perfect sense.

And what's ironic to me is that I think of myself as being very proactive in life. And I am in many ways.

But with relationships, I AM more passive. I've mainly allowed men to choose ME rather than the other way around. That is pretty passive. And from what I know of abusers, they deliberately CHOOSE their victims. Perhaps same with narcs... I do not know.