My Support Forums - View Single Post - I think my husband may be a narcissist? What do you think?

Have Hope · Nov 04, 2020, 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KBMK

I don't think you are stupid at all! It is really hard to leave an abusive relationship, and some people will stay in the very same relationship, repeating the same patterns all their life. It's really hard to change roles, and it is not your fault you've been used for validation, and haven't been heard and validated yourself. It's bound to be really upsetting to realise you have been lied to, and what you're doing is really proactive. I think you have been proactive! Just with other people in mind, rather than advocating for yourself. It isn't your fault that you haven't been encouraged to assert yourself and protect yourself from people that take advantage!

Thank you, kindly.

I really need to absorb and re-read what you've written a few times more. It's very encouraging, validating and supportive, which I really need right now.

My parents are perfectionists. I was overly criticized for everything that I did as a child - including each emotional reaction I had to something upsetting. I was never taught to accept myself or my emotions. And with my parents being so overly critical of me, I'm terrified of mistakes and beat myself up endlessly over them. My parents did more harm than good... and I am still dealing with the aftermath of a damaged childhood. That makes me really angry. I don't blame THEM, but I wish I had had effective therapy by now, and I have not.