Are we married to the same man? Seriously, my husband is exactly the same, we are working on separating and I am constantly on eggshells until he moves out, hopefully soon. The belittling comments, followed by fake compliments, then manipulative strategies, it's exhausting to keep my cool and not take the bait. You are dealing with a narcissistic sociopath. A friend I made through this forum helped me see that, and recommended the book The Sociopath Next Door. I can't tell you how eye opening it has been, like reading about my husband.
Hugs to you, I don't know what you are considering doing, but have seen a couple of your posts and I believe you commented on one or 2 of mine as well. Best of luck to you, and don't lose hope for a better future.