Quote:
Originally Posted by BethRags
Thank you, CH.
Sometimes it is true. Many times it is. My husband has severe OCD (which is why we no longer live together; he hoards...no room for me in his house). He flatly refuses meds, and encourages me to stop taking them. No support there so I don't even try.
The two friends...one is so depressed. She's a good soul, but calls me drunk and crying. I fairly beg her to see her doctor and ask for an AD. I suspect she wants to hide her drinking, so won't see her doc.
The next friend has severe mental illness. On and off meds. On meds, she's tolerable. Off meds, forget it. Negative, cloying, I don't want it.
I have complete respect and tolerance for someone who is in treatment. I'm very happy to be there for her/him. It's the needy people who refuse treatment that I have no energy in my life for.
Boundaries, yes. And I guess I have to shore myself up and say something like, "I'm so sorry you're feeling down right now, but I have an appointment I have to get to. Remember to breathe and maybe take a walk." It's reeeally hard for me, but I think it's the only way to extricate myself.
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Hey BethRags,
I used to have a ''friend'' who sounds somewhat like the second friend you describe. She was on and off meds, (rinse and repeat), had a severe mental illness, would not stick to therapy although it was offered, and I finally realised that she was ''on transmit only''.... I spent hours (for years) listening to her and giving support, comfort and thought out advice. I did not tell her how I was ''getting on''.. Eventually, after years, she stopped phoning me. Maybe she found another friend to dump on?
Sometimes the needy people come in other disguises, like the person who always has to be ''right'' and judging others, passive aggressive, feels superior yet is deeply insecure,
violating known (and obvious) boundaries repeatedly, sneaky and requiring endless significance (endless attention)
This is similar to my Paternal Unit also
Sometimes I am tempted to show that person my teeth
(not anyone here)
I wonder why we both have these people in our lives (or have had them)
Boundaries. I'm working on these too.
