Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
I know you have encouraged him to learn from the DBT book, however, at times he uses that as a way to gain attention.
|
His therapist was the one that got him into DBT. I only knew what he wanted to tell me. He hasn't said much since the summer and I don't think he's still seeing that same therapist. I did not at all encourage him to do this. I stayed out of it and hoped for the best.
Quote:
|
He is not really "with you" as a partner, instead he is often competing with you
|
This is 100% correct. He recently said he has an inferiority complex.
Quote:
|
In many ways you are his babysitter. You dread even thinking about him getting to have his children if you were to break up. A deep part of you knows he is not mature enough to really be trusted. He doesn't respect boundaries, not even with his own children.
|
There's definite trust issues but I wouldn't say it's because of his immaturity.
Right now, I'm genuinely fearful of parental alienation. I've had concerns with his emotional parentification, which has improved. I've had concerns with his differentiatial treatment between our two girls, which has improved. I've had concerns over lack of boundaries in general.. the impulsivities and emotional instabilities with regards to our relationship. I've had concerns with the lies, gaslighting, name smearing, and finger-pointing. I've had concerns with his need for attention, my short "leash", and his secret social life. I can go on and on. None of this reaks "typical teenager" to me. It's dark. His behaviours have kept me feeling permanently unsettled and concerned.
It's why I've been looking at enmeshment vs BPD. The article I posted had helpful strategies. There seems to be an overlap between the two.