Dear Rive1976,

I wish I had some insight, but sadly I don't. The human brain is so mysterious. Why does it move us to do the things we do? Why does it sometimes move us in contrary directions? I don't know. Perhaps others here with more knowledge, experience and wisdom will have some helpful information to share with you. So sorry I cannot be helpful to you in this!

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen