So much is up in the air in society, jobs, government, it's not your fault!! It sounds like you might be feeling like you are taking on the world. I know how it feels to lie next to someone at night that you can't stand. I also recently was interviewing for a new position that paid more but the boss is a jerk. I ended up not getting the job. Phew!! So many things that seem good end up being bad, BUT vice versa! So many seemingly bad things end up being for our benefit!!

I like your silver lining!!! Hold on to as many positives as you can. You can do this!! You are strong!