I've been watching so much US election coverage that I've hardly gotten any work done on my current book over the past couple of days. I should be able to get more done tomorrow. Still on track to make end of month goals.

I start my new job on Monday. I'm extremely apprehensive about it. It might be a horrible place to work in ways I couldn't know until working there. I might get fired shortly after starting and then I'd be in big trouble. I'm feeling sick but this might just be anxiety. If so it's only going to get worse between now and Monday.

I feel like I really hate myself. I'm so lazy and worthless because I can't do anything but the bare minimum to survive. Even that, I really don't want to. I don't want to do anything and that realization makes me hate myself even more.