Hmmm. This may be it. The angry spitefull vindictive is very subdued. But I read somewhere else that ODD is different from another disorder in that it isn't as physical. Mostly his anger is displayed by silent motionless "death stares". But vindictiveness for sure as well. Sometimes he will comply but then he will seem unsettled until he gets to do something he wants to do, such as eat candy or play videogames.

One solution I have found for this is to make a mental list of things I need him to do and when he asks for something he wants, I tell him to do all the things on this list first. He will silently pout as he goes but when he is done and gets what he wants he is happy again. But I don't like encouraging this type of reward system because it is tedious for me as well and I think it teaches him that it's ok to be angry over simple tasks. I could be wrong.

Also, it's kind of a trick. Because if I tell him ahead of time that if he follows directions well for the day I will reward him for his good behavior, he won't do it!

I will look up "strong willed child" as well. See if I can get some pointers.

Thanks, sarahsweets!