I had a sudden rush of emotion -- negative emotion, today from watching a press conference. It has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with the news or things going on but the combative nature reminded me of all the battles I've had to fight to get where I am and the injustices I feel I've been through. I am angry about things I can't change and have happened as far back as 10 years ago. I jusrt don't know why I can't let them go. My life is what it is now, and I just don't want to deal with people. I checked my phone bill for last month. My mom is on my plan. She sent ~1400 text messages. I sent 23. I don't leave the house and I don't keep in contact with anyone -- I don't want to deal with people. I'm so jaded. I just don't know how to change my mind.

I feel like I'm always on the negative and losing end of everything. How I think, feel, and act are always wrong. I am the ignorant one. I am the one in the wrong. Always.