Yes, I've spent many years of my life subsuming myself into someone else's life. You can ask yourself...what if?...but that's pointless. I'm trying to make a life for myself that is my own. This is difficult as I must rely on SSDI and my parents for financial...well, money to live. Given that dependence, I'm working on being independent in the rest of my life. Relationships have always been dangerous for me because I would completely rely on another to define myself. The parting words of my last girlfriend were "I can't take care of you." I replied "I didn't ask you to!" But, she saw my dependence. So, no relationships for over a decade. Perhaps one will be possible in a while...