I woke up at 4am i went to bed reasonably early but now. There is no one awake all the night owls have gone to sleep since its now almost 6am.

I have a new pdoc phone call today. I have things i have written down to ask. So i am prepared on that front. I wish the pdoc would do zoom calls. Would make it easier to talk to and get to know. Phone calls are just easy to get away with body language and the personaly connection is lost easy.

I talked to a student counselor last night who came in with an agenda to fix my "anxiety". I had anxiety because she didnt send out the zoom call invite until 3 mins before our session. And was 5 mins late before she connected. I tried to explain to her that she would have anxiety to and that if a clinician was suppose to give her if she was the client ample time to get ready she would fret to. Then the clinician connected 5 mins late without an apology. How would she feel? She basically tried to divert me from how i was feeling or asking her the question.

I became seriously angry and frustrated. I told her i dont need to be fixed i am not a science experiment i wanted to use my time to decompress my week not look at charts and diagrams about anxiety. I also said this isnt school this real life i am not a subject in laboratory thats part of an experiment.

After my session i emailed her supervisor. I said i look forward all week to talk and then i am being told i have to be "fixed". I dont take this lightly but shes going a different direction then me. She might always be a student and may never be a good counselor. I said you pick good students to work with you and your a brilliant Phd. Clininical counselor but she continues to miss the mark.