Is it wrong to hate your child(ren)?

I have 3 - 1 16 yr. old girl, 1 13 yr. old boy, and 1 6 yr. old boy.

The 16 yo and 6 yo are, for the most part, easy to handle.

The middle one is seriously the sharpest, most nettlesome thorn in my side. Every thing about him annoys me to tears. I understand he's going through struggles, but he is so painful to have in my life.

What amazes me is that, of the 3, he was the only one to get into a "gifted school." This was based on an IQ test; even though they're very "normal," the other two didn't make the mark. He's apparently really smart, but I have yet to see it. Every day he continues to befuddle me with his immaturity and stupidity. The 6 year old is more independent, as he gets up every morning on his own, gets dressed, and started on his classwork.

The 13 yr old, on the other hand...

1. Has to have 3 people get him out of bed every morning. Every day he either misses class, or is totally late.

2. I'm astonished that he hasn't been kicked out of the school. Every day a teacher emails us telling him that he hasn't submitted an assignment. He'll always tell us "yep, I handed it in." Then we find out he hasn't even started it.

3. Has no impulse control: he shovels food into his mouth at dinner. Then, at night he'll say he's going downstairs to "get water." We'll hear rustling for about 10 minutes, and then find out that he's scarfed down an entire row of Oreo cookies.

4. He is a bully, and treats everyone horribly. He continually tells his younger brother to "shut up," and screams incessantly at a tutor we brought in to help him with executive functioning.

I feel horrible about the way I feel toward him. I know as a parent we're supposed to love all of our children equally. I'm trying to temper my feelings of disappointment by noting that he's not intentionally defying direction from his teachers; he's definitely making an effort, but he's clearly not capable. I'm really worried about when he gets to high school. He won't have as much handholding / individualized attention as he does know.

But I'm only human. I used to get annoyed and blow my stack about every breath he took, and every move he made. At this point I've just resigned myself to the reality that he's a defective product. I can't help him. I just have to live with how unbearable he is.

I'm sure most of you probably think I'm a bad person for saying all this. But hopefully some of you can relate to what I'm describing. If you have any advice on how to deal with this catastrophe of an offspring please let me know.