I just needed to vent my frustrated feelings actually. It's just something that is going to take some time and patience is not one of my strong suits unfortunately. I know it's not really the right thing to do but I took some Xanax. It seems to be the only thing that works for me when I get like this. Thanks for caring and the hugs. I think I'm gonna need them for awhile. I feel so needy and fragile lately.