Hi I’m going through a journey just now where I’m learning it’s ok to grieve for things you didn’t have as a child then a process of grieving for them, and letting them go (not sure how easy that will be but I’m determined to give it a go!). I wonder if you could start some new traditions for yourself which are just yours? And they could be whatever you wanted them to be and they should be things that make you happy. Also good to check the local situation for company on Christmas Day as there will others in the same situation who would equally be glad of your lovely company. You could give your inner child a real treat and go where there is snow one weekend and build that snowman! (If travel is allowed where you are currently) wishing you the best of luck