(I have been diagnosed in my teens, working on a diagnosis. I’m always insecure. Everything makes me question reality. We can have been married for 15 years and if I have the slightest indication that you are cheating, or that you don’t want me or want to leave, I have intense panic. I freak out, obsess over it and either one of two things happens. I either get furious and want to kill whoever it is, or I completely emotionally detach. Devalue you you mean nothing to me never did we’re just a *****. I am more of a quiet borderline, so it doesn’t show. One day I might just leave and you’ll have no idea why and all the cheating and wrong was all just in my head. If I believe it then I don’t care about how you feel or how I hurt you. It’s your fault for acting suspicious. Then I laugh at you for acting hurt since I believe you never loved me at that point. There’s more but just what I’m dealing with now