I'm interested in learning more about the long term effects from drug addictions.

My partner was a crack cocaine addict and is now 7 years clean. He went into rehab prior to our relationship. We've been together for 6 years. I don't think he was honest about that time frame when we first started dating.

Anyway, we've been dealing with codependency issues and a member here spoke about how addictions can stunt a person's maturity level. There's definitely been a lot of friction around needing to fulfill his emotional needs, fill his bucket, and "parent" him.

It's true I've felt like his therapist, his financial advisor, his life coach.. and lately, a parent, too. We're in our 40s and have very young children and it's not my responsibility to care for his inner child.

I guess I'm looking for advice on how to tailor my own behaviours so I'm not triggering something that is out of my control, causing a ripple effect that impacts my children and I.

Someone mentioned "cross talking" and I'd never heard of it before. I now get it's used in CoDA/AA meetings, to provide a non-judgmental and safe platform for recovering addicts to speak. It also says this "no cross talk" rule can be applied in day to day life.

I am very angry at him for a host of damaging reasons. So when trying to understand cross talk, I feel my frustrations have impacted my communication style towards him and it's important for my children that I address that.

I've also been interested in taking the Non-Violence Communication course.. perhaps as a couple, but due to his covert abusive tendencies, I'm not sure if it's a good idea to involve him or if it would be great if he did.