Quick back story: Mother suffered from schizoaffective disorder and was in and out of psychiatric hospitals throughout our childhoods. Father was a bit hopeless on his own. I lived with family friends and was in a kids home on and off for at least 2 years of my life. My brother went to live with a family friend who lived a few houses away. He stayed there from age 1. I lived with my parents more than he did. I lived mostly with my father only. My brother is angry about it and has expressed in the past that i was the chosen one. He has said he views the people who brought him up as his parents. My parents are my mum and dad.
My brother hasn't spoken to his father for over 10 years.
He stopped speaking to me and his mother for 6 years then he suddenly out of the blue sent me a text message. He said he missed me and was sorry.
Last time we spoke he was abusive and threatened to punch me.
He said he and his partner were having a baby and we should be involved. We met up and things went well.
Baby was born and photos and videos came flooding in over whatsapp.
Then my mum got cancer. She travelled hundreds of miles away to live with me and my partner through treatment...she got the best treatment here.
After 5 months she went home. Chemo and surgery had gone well and she was in remission. But she has ovarian cancer and a recurrence is highly likely.
Throughout her treatment my brother and his partner face timed her with her little grandson and everything was fine.
They agreed to support her when she got home. Said she could come to their house for a meal everyday. They live 5 minutes away from her.
Anyway her mental health started to deteriorate and she was acting strange. She had a seizure in front of my brothers partner who called an ambulance. My mother was in hospital for a week and they thought the personality change was due to low magnesium and a reaction to steroids.
However my brothers partner decided they couldn't cope with her needs. My brother believed the seizure was a deliberate manipulative act.
The night after my mother got out of hospital
she fell out of bed and couldn't get back up. Lucikly she had a phone near her and had to call the police to break in and help her. The police called my brother to ask if he could sit with her until someone came to fix the lock. He refused because he believes she did it all on purpose for attention even though she had a broken arm.
Anyway the relationship between us all has deteriorated.
His partner sent a text to say he didn't think it was right to be expexted to help her. I replied saying why is it always left to me to deal with our mother. He replied to say when has she ever been a mother to him. She's not his mother.
So now i don't bother updating him about her as he never asks. He never sends a message or calls me to ask me how i am. He never did anyway since we got back in touch.
My mother is not seeing her grandson. They use covid restrictions as an excuse but could face time her if they wanted to.
All we get are photos and videos on the WhatsApp forum.
We have both replied saying nice things, but he never says anything back...just keeps sending photos or videos. No interest in how she is or how I'm doing.
How am i meant to respond to this?????