Have you ever considered going to an Al-Anon or a Nar-Anon meeting. There specifically for the partners of alcoholics/addicts. Even though your partner has been clean for a good chunk of time, it sounds like he's still exhibiting addictive behaviour and either group would help you to understand and figure out how to deal with his behaviour.
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"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn.
"If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba
