I think what you shared here should be included in your thread. It reflects your personal struggle with this challenge and that's important.
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I am 53 and going through divorce after 23 years of marriage. It is quite painful and was a surprise to me. My days feel lonely and empty most of the time and y mind goes over and over the past years trying to put sense to why we are here. I am in therapy each week and look forward to those sessions to help provide clues on how to move on. All my happy memories are now filled with sadness. I have joined a different church and that has helped. I have also started to volunteer to see about putting my energy toward others instead of inward. But, what we are all going through is the grieving process and the only answer I can truly find now is time and allowing myself to experience the denial, anger, bargaining and acceptance steps. It is quite lonely often, but I have started to have daily talks with God although they seem one sided a lot. I wish the best for you and just know that you are not alone and there is hope on the other side.
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You don't have to go as far as seeing memories in a sad way as you are stating here. You were a good provider for you family and from what you have shared you were not abusive and you did not cheat. That contributed to the positive memories, and your role as a good provider and father made those memories possible.
What you are grieving more is what you expected next and how you saw the future and that you are finding out your wife doesn't see HER future the same way. That being said that while you were working and providing, your wife was growing as a person too, and she learned things while she raised your children and saw the world changing around her through these past 23 years. Her nest is empty and she wants to fly away for a while and explore. All this time she was helping her children to be independent so they could fly from the nest, well, she developed that urge herself. It's very possible and even probable there was a part of her that felt unfulfilled that has nothing to do with you.