Quote:
Originally Posted by splitimage
Have you ever considered going to an Al-Anon or a Nar-Anon meeting. There specifically for the partners of alcoholics/addicts. Even though your partner has been clean for a good chunk of time, it sounds like he's still exhibiting addictive behaviour and either group would help you to understand and figure out how to deal with his behaviour.
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I'm limited to what I can do.. particularly with covid19. I definitely think he has addictive behaviours and I'm sinking.
The other day he mentioned he's a compulsive liar and not a pathological liar.. the difference being the compulsive liars can stop. He blames all of his lying habits to his codependency issues.. always wanting to "please" others and "do the right thing". It doesn't feel like that's what's going on. I don't know how he could tell he's NOT a pathological liar.. I don't know, either.
His bottom line is that my perception is just skewd. He's trying his best and working on being more assertive with me since he thinks I have power over him. I don't see him asserting himself. I see a pattern of covert abuse. He has convinced others around us that I'm the problem.. and they'd believe a self-proclaimed compulsive liar? I find that confusing.. but then, no one hears my story. They only hear his interpretation of what concerns I've expressed.
I feel permanently unsettled and worried. So I'm trying to understand how to work with some of this in a more positive way to protect my girls and I. So far, I'm failing at it.