Looking at my mood chart, you’d think I’m going UP UP UP UP! I’m really not, I just have a new friend I love talking to so I’ve been writing down high numbers. Went exploring today, found a conservation area in town with paths that Ive never been to, it was cool, had some wetlands and ATV trails. It’s been really warm out too, 50s and 60s so I’ve been doing lots of yard work and not-so-spring cleaning. Idk when the last time I posted in the check in was, but I had a really bad experience last week and well, I want to be done with using, but I’m just not. I dont know how to make myself “done” someone told me Ill get there when I get there, but I mean face it-its addiction, I might die first. I’m okay with that, but I know I have friends and family who are not. I’m also stuck with weight even though I’m ridiculously active, these meds are terrible. I want to ask my doc if I can stop the seroquel but I dont see her approving of that. I want to try abilify again too. I was only on like 4mg when I tried it but stopped because of akathisia, but I get akathisia with EVERYTHING so why not go with something that might not have other side effects like weight gain that Ill only have to have an injection of less frequently than the risperdal.
Sometimes things get too boring. I just want to do stuff 24/7.