What is your background? Do you have siblings or a step-parent? Younger cousins or nieces who do?

I was a stepchild and am a stepmother and treat my 3 stepsons more like "friends".

I don't know if you've ever seen the movie Stepmom but I recommend it. I think your feelings might change as you grow older, have a family of your own and get to know his daughter better.

I'm "friends" with my husband's ex-wife. She's coming over with her sister and mother for a Mother's Day celebration at my house next Saturday (we had it last year too so looks like it will become a tradition). All my stepsons will be there also.

What has helped me the most is to realize they're just "other" people and my husband's and my marriage is a package, our own space and it doesn't matter what happened when my husband was a boy, or married to his ex-, etc. We've been married 19 years this year and dating almost 25 (longer than he and his ex-) and I just don't think about his life before me because his and my life is so "now" and wonderful :-)