Dear LiteraryLark,

You describe the situation so clearly. I wish had advice for you but sadly I am kind of in the same boat and have to play it by ear. I think your thoughts and feelings about all this are completely understandable. Maybe wiser, more experienced and more insightful people will see your post and have something helpful to offer. Its sounds to me that you are on top the situation and aware of all the various possible consequences and permutations. You sound like a wonderful person and I am so sorry I am unable to be helpful to you in this. I hope you find what works best for you

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen