Yes I think so. I think it's self harm at its extreme. It's like total annihilation of the self. Self harm at that stage is like putting a bandaid on a wound that needs stitches. Still when nothing else seems to work it's like something is better than nothing.

Luckily I seem to be feeling better today. Just some hallucinations this morning but otherwise I'm good. Not feeling suicidal. Struggled with the self harm feelings all weekend but they are manageable now.