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chaotic13 said:
A self defense course would not help me much if our exchanges ever got physical, my H could squash me like a bug.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">I think it's supposed to help me psychologically with H (as well as others).

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I think you have been interested and focused on enhancing your communication skills.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">I was just thinking today after session how ironic it is that my new interest is in non-violent communication and now T is telling me to get angry and cuss out my H. (My reason for taking non-violent communication isn't really to deal with H anyway, but still!)

skeksi, I'm encouraged your self defense training has helped you be able to set some boundaries, made you feel stronger, etc. I think this is exactly why my T wants me to take it.

During session, T talked about how I really need to uncouple from H and not let his c**p get to me. Last summer when H and I were doing uncoupling therapy with T, I always kind of wondered what "uncoupling" meant. I know it means the emotional disentanglement of two people in a longterm relationship, but I always thought of it as more focused on stuff like letting go of the caring and love, the shared history and goals, acknowledging the pain and the grief of ending the relationship, etc. But it can mean disentangling the negative emotions too! Such as taking on his frustration during those challenging phone calls and reacting to his words with anxiety, fear, etc. This realization was a bit of an eye-opener to me today.

Thank you, everyone, for the encouragement on the self defense course! I think I'll do it. I'm going to ask my sister if she'll do it too.