I don't know enough about this disorder but reading your description didn't scream schizophrenia to me.

Regardless though, it sounds like a difficult way to live. I'm sorry if you didn't get the responses you're hoping for. I hope someone with more experience can help out.

For now, tap into hotlines and see if there are free services for you to access. Medication is not always the answer. Back in the day, doctors successfully treated schizophrenia with diet.