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sarahsweets · Nov 11, 2020, 04:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

I agree with you @sarahsweets as I too felt two ways about this scenario. Sometimes that gets blowback in that some don't look at a woman being a homemaker as a career. Instead many respond with criticism and how SHE should have made it a point to have a career for herself and be more independent. What needs to be considered is the culture the two of them grew up with. There are places even here in the US where the tradition is STILL that of where the woman's career is to be the "home maker". Rural can be very different than Metropolitan. Also, rural tends to be more religious and traditional than Metropolitan. Yes, there can be a mix in both, however it's not unusual to find more traditional in the more rural. There are some families where it's a tradition the woman seek out independence while there are still traditions that a woman can choose to be a homemaker and function on a one income lifestyle or the male being the main breadwinner.

I agree completely with this @Open Eyes. I am a stay at home mom and have stayed home for 18 years. I have three kinds all three years apart. When the second child was always getting sick at the babysitters we decided it was best for me to stay home. Of course the cost of daycare after the third would be more than I could ever make. The responsiblities of taking care of kids and the home are very often minimized or downplayed. I have had moms at school functions say things like " I wish I could afford to stay home with my kids" " Wow you must have so much time without a work schedule or boss to answer to". The worst was when someone asked first where I went to college, what my degree was (eng lit) and what I did for a living. When I said homemaker she said she would never waste her degree and advised me to get a higher degree when the kids were older.
I am glad i was the one home with them sick, the one to drop off forgotten lunches and pick them up early. I am glad I got to go to school day functions that my husband had to miss. The way we "afforded" for me to stay home was to be frugal and forgo vacations, frequent shopping trips and driving 20 year old beater cars. It was never because my husband made so much that we could afford it. One look at my house which is 246 years old and old high milage cars and you'd see that staying home never afforded us a life of luxury.
My mental illness also hindered me and I never would have had time for treatment if I had a job and it definitely interfered with me working or keeping a job. My last child is 17 and now I am soul searching for what to do. Get out into the workforce and hope an employer values my 18 year work gap because I was raising kids, or pursue a higher education.
Farmers raise livestock and are praised for their work ethics and care. I am raising humans thank you and feel my investment is a worthy cause.
This is not to slam working women or two career households. They love their children just as much and working women are also stigmatized at work and expected to work sick to save their days for their kids when they are sick. The unfairness for working women is another list a mile long. This is just my experience.

Given that the children are grown and leaving the so called nest, his wife is probably going through empty nest syndrome and now that it's going to be just the two of them she isn't content with just that and wants to seek out something different.

He has been taken back by this change and had just assumed his wife would continue even though the children are exiting and are more on their own now. Well, while he filled his role, and was honest and responsible his wife wants to try other things in her life now and decided she wants freedom to do just that.[/QUOTE]