It sounds like you and your wife have been through a very challenging time.
I also have BD1. I cannot recall feeling paranoid about a real person in my life. I have had episodes of paranoia about Nazis kidnapping loved ones. When my meds were adjusted and I worked through my fear in therapy the delusional thoughts met reality and mostly disappeared. But I can remember them. Remembering them makes them seem more real....sort-of like a "weakened delusion."
Maybe your wife has a remnant of her paranoid belief.
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