Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
Where is his mom in all this?
I don’t recommend you diagnose this child. But I recommend mom signs him up for therapy. He has no father, mom and you got married but your marriage is difficult. I know you might say kids don’t know what’s going on between you two. But they always do. In addition the way you described your wife, perhaps her son is taking after her, being difficult.
So there is a lot at play. Mom needs to start some parenting and signing him up for therapy and you might need to back off a bit. You’ve been only married a year. This kid might not see you as authority so being oppositional possibly is his natural response to you giving directions
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Ok, I appreciate the feedback. When you put it in perspective it sounds like my problem might be impatience. Couples' therapy has been helping the wife and I, just not at the pace I want. I want results now!
Also, with her son, I see minor improvements when I point out issues to mom, she corrects them in her own time. He'll take 2 steps forward, one step back.
I guess I was out of line coming here to "diagnose" him. I am not a psychologist so I shouldn't try to find a prognosis for his behavior.
I really do care about him and I worry he will grow up spoiled and undisciplined and angry. I know that boys with no dad tend to have major anger issues later. I see small things and project them out into the future.
I also fall victim to high expectations of the "perfect family" and the "perfect marriage". When we are indeed a mixed and broken family. Which isn't necessarily bad. An old salvaged car fully restored will never be a brand new Maserati but it can still be beautiful to behold.
Thank you for your usual sage wisdom!!