We did talk about it during a very emotional therapy session yesterday.

I told him that sitting with the feelings is SO painful and hard, but calling or e-mailing and then worrying about the possible repercussions is SO scary that I never know what to do. He was horrified that the thought of calling him could possibly equal the pain of sitting with the feelings, and convinced me that calling or e-mailing IS what he wants me to do. I told him I was afraid he would change the rules and call it "therapeutic boundaries" and he promised he isn't going to do that - he said "yuck!" about it, actually

Of course, I have big time trust issues, and constantly struggle with "Is this guy for real?" and "How can I know what he's saying is true?" etc. etc. etc. But he's proven over and over again that he IS real, and he's there, and he cares about me. After reading everyone's responses, I know how lucky I am to have this guy as my T, and I'm really grateful for that. I wish everyone could have as much contact with T as they need.