Dear equinox101,

That sounds like such a stressful and distressing situation. I wish I knew what to say that would be helpful to you but since I am not married, I feel completely unqualified to offer any kind of advice. Hopefully the members here who have struggled with something similar to what you describe will see your post and kindly offer something really helpful. My heart goes to you and sorry I could not be helpful!

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen