There was atime when I was very sick I burned myself. Got burn marks up and down my arms but i loved it. IT would kill the pain in my head and thats all i wonted .Have not done it in like 10 months but I started working out again and find myself think I cant wait to get up in the morning so I can work out but its the pain i love the feel of pain and even though I know working out is good for me I think Im doing it for the wrong reason . I think pain is a trigger that makes me feel calm or at peace ?