Anca, Thanks for sharing some intimate thoughts on what you have experienced. I do too often fantasize about my first love. I will call her "M". I was completely head over heels for this woman, whom I met when I was only 16. We actually had a physical relationship that lasted many years, until she found a new love. But what she meant to me was very raw and real, she loved me and loved me for what I was. I have never felt the same passion for any person other than her. I would move continents to speak to her, but she refuses to speak to me. There is a peculiar aspect to this though, she does maintain some contact with my sister. To this day, almost 30 years later, she wants nothing to do with me. She is also married and with a couple children.

You are not alone in this infatuation. I like to think of it as our innocence and love being manifested into reality.

--sarc