So last week I had the issue of I was struggling, and initially my T told me that I can let her know and she will try to fit me on for an extra session. It didn't happen, as her availabilities were all filled. she apologised after though, and said, next time, she will pencil me in, so I can actually have a session in need be.

Anyway the important point. The main topic in therapy at the moment is all the crap things I went though in the past, (being in foster care my whole life, being abandoned by my biological parents, CSA, bullying, group homes, boarding school etc).. Which are all very traumatic at different levels.

I guess we are making progress in therapy but I do feel like having two sessions a week isn't quite containing the reopening of the wounds, at least not now. there's a 3-4 days gap in between the sessions and often times it feels unmanageable.

I used to cover my feelings by not eating (I had an ED) but now that I am eating, I'm feeling things a lot more. And it is emotionally draining at the moment, except completing my uni work, and also working a part time job. Every night I just get so so tired, and all I want to do is wrap myself up under my duvets and the world is so unbearable I just can't face it.

But I know what tends to happen if I am struggling, and I am not addressing the problem then eventually I relapse with ED because it works to numb and block things. I have been crying a lot. And that's not me. I feel very vulnerable at the moment.

I don't know if a third session would help. Or maybe not. It might be too intense and too much and it might be better not talking about things.

I don't know if I should bring it up with my T, and she what she thinks. I don't know if it is something she would offer. I know she does if it's like one off when I'm in some sort of crisis, but I don't know if it's regular.

I don't want to sound needy. and plus I feel like twice a week is already a lot as most people only see their Ts weekly.