Hi, i'm Jock.


I'm joining this community hoping to find support & maybe answers for some issues that i've been dealing with since childhood but never had the opportunity to adress.

One question in particular that i'd like to put out there, in regards to my relationship with my mother.

From around 11, i've been repulsed by my mother and did express it. As i grew older i started feeling guilty about it, tried to allow more moments of physical & emotional contact with her but to this day it still feels awkward everytime we get close. I always feel the need to set a boundary at some point, by fear that if i'd let her she could try to get romantic or sexual with me. I don't have any memory of being explicitly sexually abused by her but that's how i've felt since late childhood. I wish i could go past this and have a normal relationship with my mother. I know there's little information but maybe someone has a hint on why i feel this way?