Have you ever heard a song that you absolutely disgusted, but couldn't get it to stop playing in your head? Well that's how I am with memories and it's driving me insane (hopefully not literally). I am constantly cursed with memories of things in the past, that clasp onto something in the present. Now I wouldn't call it PTSD, but then again I'm not a doctor. At the time, those moments were pretty terrifying and embarrassing to me, so maybe that's why they've always stuck around. Anyways, I've always wanted Amnesia. I know it sounds selfish or downright naive, but when you have the kinda thoughts I have 24/7 you too would want utter silence. There's times where I can't even concentrate because I'm too busy trying to think of something else so the current movie playing in my head will just disappear. But it won't. It'll come back hours or days later.

I know I've got some really dark thoughts running amuck up there, but what am I supposed to do? They don't go away, they just play over one another until one of them plays the loudest! The one place that I actually can escape from the world, is also the one place that's just as dangerous if not more.

Does anyone know what I mean? Just a chance to start over, like nothing else happened in the past....It'd be refreshing.