I take 3.75mg every night to sleep. It's not really a med of abuse. When I took a full 7.5mg, I'd meditate before it kicked in and I'd fall asleep in 20 minutes - I'd get a nice drowsiness but I didn't really care because I usually feel good already lately - Even though I'm somewhat situationally depressed. Now it can take about an hour to fall asleep - But at least I sleep.

During the days when I was more of an addict, I enjoyed a 0.5mg clonazepam after having a panic attack and being awake for 3 days due to anxiety. I melted into sleep.. I remember being in rehab and wishing to have that feeling again.. But I was prescribed a dangerous antipsychotic called "Nozinan" instead of something "addictive" - It was good because maybe I wasn't ready yet. I was too young, immature, traumatized, etc..

Ever since my bad trip, I mostly stopped abusing my meds and when I did, I did it extremely carefully. Now I've been prescribed 5 different benzos this year and haven't abused them - So I'm not dependent. The panic attacks were caused by the bad trip.. If I abuse benzos, how can they help me with panic? Fear and the more common sense that I have now is much stronger than pleasure for me.

Awareness also overrides euphoria for me because I want to use substances that benefit me in the long term like the stimulant for example. I'd take an extra maybe 2-3 times a month but if I take as prescribed, I'm just more of an upper than downer person anyways.

Alexander Shulgin in his book "PIHKAL" says that he didn't like heroin because it made him unmotivated and not care about anything - And he needed to get work done!