Puzzclar,

I felt like I should have replied yesterday but was not sure what to say since there is no religious talk here. IMO we all have sinned (except one). I hope you can learn to forgive yourself. IMO for most of us, it is harder to forgive ourselves than be forgiven. Maybe you feel like you are two people because you are at a crossroads? IMO, our thoughts, actions, choices, etc mold who we are. If we want to change something, it is not easy. We need help from God and it helps when we believe. We have to overcome thought patterns, habits, etc, but it can be done with His help. Of course, it doesn't happen overnight and it can be a struggle. For me, after being miserable for a long time, that is when I had a "faith" breakthrough. Also, I do believe that sin, not God, is responsible for the misery in this world. I hope you feel better soon. You are in my prayers Puzzclar.