Every parent feels like a failure at some point. We feel like we should have gotten the rule book at birth but lost it. Then we feel like we should be as good as other parents (think instagram parents who post pictures of their perfect families- I stay off instagram). Kids always feel the tension between their parents. At the same time I believe that the terrible 2's are a myth. For me and my three kids it was the terrible 3's and 4's. This is when toddlers and kids are forming their "person" learning about themselves, and how they fit into the world and dynamics. Developmentally they still have no understanding of actions affecting consequences. This is why it is so exasperating for parents of a tough toddler. My daughter used to go through tantrums that involved hitting and physical stuff. At times I would have to hug her to get her to stop, she didnt like it (I wasnt squeezing or holding her down) but I would hug and keep her from hitting me and whisper "shhhh, its alright baby girls, things are alright" over and over again until she calmed down. You cant rationalize anything at this age, toddlers are "self absorbed" and by that I mean unable to see beyond the self and learning to understand how their actions affect others. It is best if you try not to fight around the kids or even any sort of underhanded passive aggressive comments (not saying this is the case with you at all). It could be time where it is time to start rewarding the good behavior. Toddlers and most young children do not respond to consequences or punishments but rewarding the good behavior makes it more desirable.