Thank you @Yaowen.

It is frustrating. I'm just trying to understand it.

The cosmos are vast. There's such things as Mercury Retrograde, which F's everything up for at least one-two months. Planetary alignments can influence what's happening in your life. There's so much that we are powerless against.....

I felt this way years ago too. And at that. point, I decided to just "give In" to the way the universe was flowing.

So maybe that's what I need to do right now. Is accept the way it's flowing, rather than fight against it. I cannot be a salmon swimming upstream. I must flow with the stream.

I have to keep trying though.

There's a thing called divine timing too. Perhaps it's all according to that.