Can relate. With the advent of covid I am surprised and a little concerned how little I don't need people. I am largely ambivalent about going near anyone else or talking to them. Sometimes i will pick up the phone and put it back down, because I know, deep down... nothing good will come from "socializing".

But at the same time I am surprised and a little concerned at how I have fallen off all radar. How no one does ask about me or check in. How easy it is to be completely and utterly alone and have no conversations with anyone else... at all for days.

Am I still here? I am still on this earth? Somedays it is hard to even know.

In some ways I love struggle too. I have learned that asking others to help usually results in 1. them failing to help and 2. keeping me from the joy of figuring out how to solve the problem and actually succeeding. Often, and maybe I am jinxing myself, if I just break things downs into manageable small parts I can handle things.