Has anyone else had this kind of experience?

Mostly I'm quite functional in therapy sessions now. By functional I mean reasonably open, talkative, make occasional jokes, able to respond to T on an 'adult' level. I cry occasionally but usually without too much inhibition (I've never been good at crying in front of anyone). We've both worked hard to help me reach this point. When I'm like this I truly think I've left the past behind and focusing more on my present state and goals for the future.

But at times I find myself in a horrible triggered state where I feel frozen. It's often related to something T says or does and suddenly I'm unable to speak to her or even look at her, everything feels frightening and uncertain and I am stuck there no matter how illogical the feelings are and how badly I want to bring myself out of them. My voice goes very quiet as it's hard to get anything out. I want to sob but can't.

I think of the two states as my adult and my child, but not sure it it's as dichotomous as that. It's so odd how I can be functioning really well in the present and then suddenly my world has changed. I know what the feelings are and what triggers them and even how illogical they are in the present moment, but they are so real too.