I found a pm I wrote to someone here on the forums dated somewhere between telling ex-T the secret and her leaving me 3 months later. Wow. I was telling this person about the problems in my relationship with her, how things changed. I had warning signs that things were going wrong, but I had a good previous year and a half that I didn't want to give up. Reading this pm made me relive all those emotions. I'm deleting it. I never want to feel that way again! I sent it to L. I wanted her to know what I went through, what led up to that point. She responded very supportive and validating. I needed that. I needed, even after all these years, to know that I'm not crazy. And she pointed out how my experiences with ex-T have affected not just my relationship with L, but also with my family. Ex-T really messed me up. I'm so thankful to have T and L now. So so much better!